How to Write a Letter A Letter Writing How-To

Dear Bad Writer, I know it’s been quite a while since we’ve last spoke. I thought you had improved your writing style, but maybe you’ve been preoccupied with knocking out freelance writing assignments. I know, I know—bills have to be paid, but have you considered how that some skills need to be developed. You need to focus, after all? This here is the second paragraph. It’s not necessarily the body of the letter, but it’s pretty darn close. Take, for instance, the first paragraph. You can clearly see that I’m setting the tone for the rest of letter. I’m shaming you for just making a living and my point of view is that you need to develop your skills instead of just simply chasing money. If you haven’t figured out the purpose of the letter, then maybe you shouldn’t write a letter to begin with. In fact, you should clearly state your purpose as soon as you can. The less filler that you include in a letter, the more a reader is able to understand your point. So what’s my point? Well, that’s funny you ask. The point is that because we live in the Age of Email and perhaps our society has lost the ability to structure a compelling written document that conveys an opinion. Who has the time these days? But you as a writer aren’t necessarily off the hook. I mean, just take a cursory look at what you receive from financial institutions, government-related organizations, and any other entity that wishes to engage a reader in a formal declarations. The text must express a message that isn’t ambiguous, but is to the point. However, it must also convey a tone that’s in line with the company’s branding. It’s a clever balancing act. For people who know you, you may as well write anything. Form is usually an antiquated notion†¦ Is it old-hat? Maybe, but could you imagine getting a bank statement littered with Internet-speak (i.e. LOL, lmao, haha, or just any placeholder for laughing) and taking it seriously? No, it would seem like pandering, wouldn’t it? Have you noticed by now that this entire paragraph is littered with questions? Too many questions in one paragraph are a no-no, as it creates confusion in the reader. I wouldn’t say there’s a stringent rule, but you want to be as direct as possible and not leave any questions to the reader as to what the purpose of the letter is. That’s why I decided to bold â€Å"what the purpose of the letter is† in the last sentence and use a â€Å"double hyphen† right after this sentence—lacking direction in a document like this can be overshadowed by a strategic use of font-styling and punctuation. In fact, if you saw the previous paragraph, you may have noticed some underlining. While I wouldn’t say that thereâ⠂¬â„¢s a consensus on what underlining actually does for a reader, I will say that it breaks up the text and makes sure that that part is emphasized. Think about it—why the hell would I underline â€Å"what† in the last sentence? It makes little sense and just makes the reader struggle to find the meaning in this letter. Well, what do you think â€Å"what† actually means? Fucked if I know. Oh, wait, that previous paragraphs ALSO broke a few rules. First of all, it’s too damn long. Even older correspondence between the literary elite was merciful in regards to a wall-of-text that causes a headache we can all do without. To be honest, I should have pressed ENTER after â€Å"While I wouldn’t say†¦Ã¢â‚¬  and broken up the text so it was in a visually-digestible format. You may be contemplating just how someone â€Å"visually-digests† something, but I blame this on some type of writer’s synesthesia—which brings up another topic: using vocabulary that the reader might not understand. Do you have to reference what â€Å"synesthesia† is before you understand the sentence? That’s too much work! (Worse, I used a curse word that might alienate more conservative readers. Know your audience.) Have you ever visited a doctor’s office and they tell you your health problems only by its scientific name? You may have brohmidrosis. Or, you just might have a bad case of body odor. Well, at first, a doctor might start from formal terms, but they understand that their audience—the patient—has not studied for a number of years in the medical field. No, they explain it in layman’s terms and use a type of verbal pacing to make sure that you adequately understand the ramifications of what health problem you actually have. Therefore, it’s the writer’s responsibility to provide to the reader the same â€Å"dumbed down† explanations (maybe offering a change in diet and a nice-smelling deodorant). And don’t ever say â€Å"dumbed down.† No one likes to be thought of as â€Å"dumb.† Instead, simplified is a better word that conveys the same meaning without the negative connotations. Why be negative? I Think We Can Break Up the Text Right About Here Wow, at this point, we’re at the  ¾ point of the letter, so that’s why I have decided to include a heading right before this paragraph. Headings tend to summarize what is to follow and breaks up the text that gives a bigger break to the reader. I should have included more headings throughout this letter, but hey, forgive me (you shouldn’t). If there are any relevant points that you haven’t stated yet, this is your last chance. The reason why is that we’re nearing the conclusion, which is basically the final group of paragraphs that functions as a restatement of the introduction and hammers home the original point of the letter to begin with, which is that you should learn how to write a letter effectively. Case in point: this letter has so many errors and written faux-pas’ that I’m not sure if you’re still with me. Heck, I purposely didn’t research the plural of faux pas and I don’t think that apostrophe is correct. C’est la vie. Then again, most of us that read letters like this tend to jump around anyways, so a linear reading of the letter is wishful thinking at best. Seeing a substandard document rife with grammatical and spelling errors isn’t too off-putting; in this modern era, we tend to filter out these mistakes by habit because just about everyone—and that includes those without a high school education AND Rhodes scholars alike—has created something that’s not up to snuff. Remember, there are no set rules for writing a letter, but there’s certainly ways to make it easier to make it easier on the reader. Word count helps, and at this point, we’re already over 1,000 words. Zzzzzz†¦. Still, if you don’t adhere to these at least some of these rules, you may lose the reader. And if there’s anything a letter shouldn’t do, it shouldn’t lose the reader—unless that’s your goal after all. * * * Okay, so you’ve made it this far and that’s an accomplishment in itself. I’ve done my best to illustrate a bunch of points that a writer should adhere to for making a cohesive letter that really engages a reader. However, the art of crafting a well-written letter is not the easiest of accomplishments. Some might even say that it is irrelevant to the world of freelancing; I tend to disagree. The strategic use of a semi-colon (like the previous sentence) and parentheses (about five words ago) are just some of the devices that you must employ to keep readers interested. Again, you’re competing with the ever-flashy Internet that may be subtly undermining just how your audience reads and how you secure a consistent living. Nevertheless, the ability to craft a cohesive a document should be among your arsenal, even if it seems like it might be a dying art form. Mandatory closing â€Å"signature† that should ultimately describe the relation of sender to receiver, Tom Senkus (I’d put some qualifications here to really emphasis how you’re an expert) (a website linking to you work wouldn’t hurt, either) P.S. â€Å"Sincerely† would have done as a catch-all for creating You may be wondering what those three asterisks are for before the conclusion: They help create a visual break for the reader and prepare them—even subconsciously—what is to follow. What you REALLY should be wondering is just what P.S. stands for (it’s Latin for post scriptum) P.P.S If you’re still reading, a P.P.S just adds too much additional information that makes you seem like that you’ve missed the boat in regards to your fully-composed letter. Who knows why you’re still reading this, but if the writer didn’t include it in the complete letter, you can probably assume that they don’t know what they’re doing. Or, that they have a lot to say but do it poorly. It’s almost like a dog barking in parking lot when its master goes in to shop. The dog should be trained better; and so should you, fellow writer. Woof woof.